Dancing with the Stars is back... and my phone can tell

Every time that show returns, my messages change shape. People in this city suddenly start asking about ballroom dance lessons in Dubai... and almost every one of them opens with the same confession.

"I have zero rhythm."

I have been teaching since 2006. I have never once met a person with zero rhythm. I have met plenty of people who are scared of looking silly in front of a stranger. That is a different problem, and it fades much faster than you think.

Why this season has everyone talking

The premiere this year pulled nearly seven million viewers. Biggest opener the show has had in six years.

I understand it completely. You watch someone who has never danced stand in a hold, hear a count, and move... and a small voice in you says, that could be me on a Tuesday evening.

I have been on Dancing with the Stars myself. So let me spoil the magic trick. Nobody looks good in week one. They look brave. The polish is just hours of work that nobody filmed.

What ballroom dance lessons in Dubai actually feel like

Not a room full of professionals watching you.

A woman came to me recently who had not danced since her own wedding. In the first ten minutes she apologised about four times. By the end she was laughing at her own feet and asking when she could come back.

That is the normal pattern. Nervous at the door... hooked by the end.

We start with walking. Then weight. Then a frame that feels like yours. Waltz, tango, quickstep, whatever makes your shoulders drop.

If being the only beginner sounds scary, my private lessons are a soft way in. If you want progress fast, ballroom and tango lessons one to one will take you further in a month than any video on your phone.

No partner needed. No experience needed. I teach in Al Quoz 3 and in Dubai Marina, and complete beginners are my favourite people to start with.

So watch the show this week. Then be slightly braver than usual and book a trial class, or message me on WhatsApp.

Tell me you have zero rhythm... I will enjoy proving you wrong.