How to LEAD in Dance—On and Off the Dance Floor

When people first start dancing, especially as leaders, they usually have one of a few goals in mind:

• Impress their partner with smooth moves and confident dips.
• Become the life of the party, catching eyes with their effortless style.
• Boost confidence, improve posture, and develop better body awareness (especially if they have a desk job).

No matter their motivation, they all discover the same incredible benefit—dancing is more than just moving to the beat. It’s about leadership, connection, and communication.

I’ve worked with countless leaders over the years, and I can confidently say that great leadership in dance (just like in life) isn’t about controlling or forcing—it’s about guidance. You’re not dragging your partner from point A to point B. You’re inviting them into the movement, making it feel natural, easy, and—most importantly—fun.

What Makes a Great Dance Leader?
Through my experience coaching leaders, I’ve identified a few key qualities that separate an okay leader from a great one. The good news? These qualities aren’t something you’re born with—they can be learned and developed over time.

Here’s what every strong leader needs:

• Dedication – Showing up consistently, even when progress feels slow.
•  Commitment – Sticking to the learning process instead of chasing quick fixes.
•  Discipline – Practicing regularly, even when no one is watching.
•  Patience – Giving yourself time to grow instead of getting frustrated.
•  Trust in the Process – Understanding that talent is only 10% of success—the rest comes from work and belief in yourself.

Here's a real life story of success. I have a student—let’s call him A Student—who walked into my class with zero dance experience. No rhythm, no previous training, nothing. But here’s the difference: he followed my plan.

He didn’t rush the process. He practiced the details. He trusted me when I told him that the small things (hand placement, weight transfer, subtle shifts in energy) would eventually make a huge impact.

And guess what? They did.

Now, my other students—some of whom have more natural ability—watch him in class and ask:

“How is he so smooth?”
“Where did he learn all these cool combinations?”
Recently, A Student showed a dance video from our class to a new friend. Without knowing he was a student, the friend casually asked:  “Oh, are you a salsa instructor?” 

That’s the kind of transformation I love to see. It proves that becoming a great leader isn’t about talent—it’s about learning the right details, practicing them, and believing in yourself.

The Difference Between “Leading” and “Dragging” is a common mistake new leaders make is thinking they have to control their partner. They try to push, pull, or steer them aggressively into the right moves. This usually leads to:

•  A tense partner who feels forced into every step.
•  A choppy, robotic connection with no flow.
•  A leader who looks (and feels) stressed instead of confident.

Great leading is the opposite—it’s about guidance. Instead of dragging your partner through the dance, you:

•  Give clear signals – Use body movement and gentle cues, not force.
•  Respect the connection – Pay attention to your partner’s response.
•  Lead with confidence – Uncertainty in your own movement creates confusion.
•  Stay relaxed – A stiff leader creates a stiff partner. Relaxation makes everything feel smoother.

So here me when I say, "Dance (and Leadership) Is for Everyone". One of my favorite things about dance is that anyone can learn it. I’ve worked with students of all ages, backgrounds, and ability levels. I’ve seen people who swore they had “two left feet” become confident social dancers.

The secret? They learned to trust the process.

Dancing can look complicated from the outside, but when you break it down into small, manageable details, it becomes comfortable—even effortless. The key is:

• Knowing the right details – Small things (like hand placement, timing, and posture) make a huge difference.
• Practicing consistently – Even just 10-15 minutes a day can create visible improvements.
• Trusting your instructor – Sometimes, we see potential in you that you don’t see in yourself (yet).

I’ve proved this time and time again, and I’ll keep proving it—because I believe in my students, even when they don’t believe in themselves.

Want to Learn How to Lead Like a Pro? If you’ve ever watched great dancers and thought, I wish I could do that, the good news is—you can! All it takes is the right guidance and a little bit of practice.

​Want to give it a try? Book a trial class with me here:

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Let’s make dance a part of your life—it’s time to step onto the dance floor with confidence!